Elinar Yasmeen's :)

University Offers.

2011-12-02T08:27:00.004+08:00

Hello everyone! And assalamualaikum to the Muslims :)

Now is the time of the year where people anxiously wait for their university offers. Each has a tale of its own. So does mine :)

Friday morning 2nd of December 2011, I woke up as usual and performed my Subuh prayers. Nothing felt different, all were just the same. And as mundane as it had always been, I checked my email while the rest of my family members ( my mum n my sister ) were busy preparing to go to work. And there it was. An email from UCAS telling me to check my track progress.

Only Allah knows how hard my heart was thumping in my chest. And I was running up and down the stairs to get my personal UCAS ID. And plus in my head was, I dont wanna miss the moment of telling em I got my offer ; IF its an offer la. Hehe. I was excited!

Then yes, to my expectation, it was an offer. No, scratch that. They were two offers from Manchester and Edinburgh. Two at the same time! How can I not be happyyy :') syukuralhamdulillah. And well, like most people would do, I ran down and spilled the news to my mum first. With an expectation she would be jumping up and down about it. Instead ;

Me : Ma! I got my uni offers! Manchester and Edinburgh!

Ma : Oh, LSE?

I abruptly stopped being ecstatic in my head. Pushing things aside, after my mum has congratulated yada yada yada, I watched my dad walking to the patio. I followed his every step till he sat down and spilled the happy news. At least for me. to my surprise,

Me : Uni offers came in. I got Manchester and Edinburgh!

Ayah : LSE?

My only reply was ;

"They havent said anything,"

As fast as I was running down, I ran upstairs again. With slight heartbreak. I guess I dont need to elaborate more here. Most of you might probably understood enough how I felt. If you dont, lemme give a clue, its like washing all your hardworks in the drain.

So I decided to text the forth person in the world I would tell.

"I have good news.. Offers from Manchester and Edinburgh came in"

"See! I predicted Thursday didnt I? What date was the offer?"

"1st December.. Hehe. But of course, our time zone, I received it Friday. But you know, some people in this house expected LSE instead. Pretty sad though"

"Heyyy whos gonna fly now? ELINAR YASMEEN (yes, he did texted in capitals) or them? You're the one whos flying, obviously not them. (personally at this moment vacation popped in my head. Bohoo haha) "

And you know what, screwww expectations. Thanks dude for making it clear in my face haha. I may be sad initially, but now I dont give it a damn.

Elin tau sesungguhnya Allah Taala itu lebih mengetahui apa yang terbaik untuk hambaNya. And Elin reda dengan apa yang Dia nak bagi. Ada hikmah untuk segala apa yang Dia dah susunkan. In fact, Elin bersyukur sangat sangat sebab bukan satu, tapi dua terus offer sampai. First two offers. Syukuralhamdulillah ya Allah :')

So I get up from my seat and did what I should be doing.

Sujud syukur :)

What matters the most today is what Ive learnt. Well, besides from the offers of course haha. So to my friends out there who are still waiting, Allah knows best y'allss :)

Alhamdulillah :')

Different.

2011-10-15T13:18:00.003+08:00

Hello bloggers (: or whoever thats blog-walking now. after quite some time i felt the urge to come back here. lama dah kut tak update post. ever since i entered KY ive been drastically slowing down my blogging activities.

phew. currently studying (HARD) for my 3rd semester exams. yeap, its 3rd already. time flies, kan? (: and i can feel everything around me is slowly changing. or maybe im the one changing. been studying like mad. nayy i cant afford to get another warning letter from UEM. risky.

ive been noticing how my ways of thinking differs on how i did last time. i couldnt quite express how it differs, but i know its no longer well, naive and immature. the least i could say. i have opinions thats i want to stand for. i have acts that i want to conduct. i have thoughts that i believe could be reliable. but somehow.. not everything could get through. im still well, limited.

sebab tu kadang2 rasa nak membesar cepat. so that i have to do what i want, in the ways that i think fairly right, and correcting those perspectives that say, "oh, dah besar boleh buat macam macam, benda salah pun nak la?" nooooo please. we're living in a sphere where thoughts and actions of human beings should not be generalized. every single humanoids are different.

if they decide to not say anything, fine.
if they decide to say something, go on.
if they decide to sit down and observe, be my guest.
if they decide its not worth their time, leave.
as long as youre wisely responsible to what you are doing.

tak susah kan?

everyone deserves a chance. i always believe in such statement.
but not everyone gets one, yes no? (:

happy saturday folks (:

p/s : my KY peeps, good luck in ur exams! insyaAllah, kalau ada rezeki, tak ke mana, aminn (:

ze first week

2011-07-16T15:10:00.002+08:00

i should be blabbering what happened throughout the week. but im in a rush. and bottom line is,
i miss home. so much. i wish im back home now.

15 (:

2011-07-11T18:57:00.001+08:00

yes, 10th july marks my 15 months with this wonderful person ;
muhammad danial bin ahmad (:

thank you for being by my side,
thank you for the tears of joy we had together,
thank you for you motivation and support,
thank you for accepting me for who i am,

thank you for every single thing (:

i pray, for us to be together till the end, if He wills, insyaAllah aminnn (:

happy 15th baby ; alhamdulillah <3

holidays (:

2011-07-09T09:55:00.002+08:00

assalamualaikum and hello earthlings (:

it has been a while, yeah im truly sorry for not updating my blog. carried away with the three weeks holiday? i guess so haha. i may say it wasnt productive on the academic side, but well, i did had lots of things done :D im gonna miss home. i dont know when will be the next ill be going home. induction.. bangsawan.. then fasting month. maybe ramadhan lah kut hehe x)

WEEK 1.
i skipped awards day. haha boo me. well i get to attend PKTR's reunion HAHAH! my brothers and sisters that i knew for only two weeks yet amongst whom i heart most in my life (': as usual, our venue is coffee bean mid valley. deb's boyfie got her a birthday cake and asked her to sing her a surprise birthday song. how sweet (: and no need to mention the jokes that we crack along the way. hillllarious. and epic. lol :p

thats saturday. and i went to sepang on sunday. for international gt3. well.. im not really a fan of sports cars, but hey, something new wud fun. but nayy.. scorching sun aint fun at all :/ sweating is a must, so yeah. its sepang for gods sake. but i love the experience. ive been there before for F1, but that was wayyyy back. i got my eyes on ferrari 458! the red car in transformers 3 tehee :D
2 ringgit 30 sen je. nayy 2.3 million haha. err haha O.o

WEEK 2.
instant effect, i was down with fever for 2 days. reaaaally really weak. i cant do anything! lying down on the bed, hoping the pain would go away. and after a good 2 days rest, im up again. most of the weekdays im in selasih. helping out kak min. its nice to meet again the customers. some said hi, some said i lose weight, some said i gained. i know. im puzzled myself haha. of course, the frequently asked is when om going to fly. hehs next year auntieeee (:

weekend, went sephora's beauty bash in klcc. had my hair done, its free anyway haha :D make ups doesnt flatter me as much as fashion, but again, something new to venture :D being beautiful is everyones right. who are you to judge who deserves more of being treated in terms of physicality? i discoveres theres this one trending topic in twitter, #fatpeoplenightmares. i mean WHAT THE HELL? even the fattest of people has heart and feelings. wheres humility and humanity? are we that blind to harshly say such things? some people needs maaaaajor snob alert. nayyyy.

i also went to genting! my first time outing with Danny's family members (: it rained heavily, so we had bowling instead inside. his sis and bro in law are totally cooool people. im more than happy that they are more than happy as well to have me along in the family. alhamdulillah (':

ouh yea. in week 1 i had fever, week 2 i had baaaaad food poisoning. vomitted non stop, anything that goes in, goes out again and again. and.. sorry mama for messing your sofa. erk.

WEEK 3.
most of this week is filled with UEM's field trip. i was excited since the very beginning. i mean, friends! tehee. every morning, used LRT to KLSentral, then walked to Mercu UEM. on wednesday morning Danny decided to walk with me. thank you dear (: we visited companies, learned whats in for us in UEM. nice though. i loved the fact i had the chance to taste the gist of reality and real life. the morning travellings, the end of the day exhaustion. i enjoyed every single bit of it (:

and here i am now, stuck at home during my very last weekend before i head back to KY. pfft. you might want to rebel and state your stand and voice what you want in such rallies, but baby, you should really have the heart to consider how you making it hard for those who are NOT even interested in your agendas. as for that, may you rot in hell.

pictures are aaaaaaall in facebook. enjoy clicking (:

ouh btw, hope you enjoy your weekend. hah-ha x)

hihi. im doneeeeee (:

2011-06-03T12:02:00.005+08:00

hoyeah !

SHOUT TO THE WOOOOOOOOOOORLD!
IM DONE WITH AS!

*giddy-ing all around haha*

alhamdulillah, everything went well, now all i could do is pray n hope for the best.
im still bit scared with literature though, honestly saying.
i may have the points but, well, im afraid if my language brings my marks down.

but i keep telling myself, if Allah izinkan, maka diizinkanlah kiranya.
insyaAllah, aminn (:

so imma going backkkk!

to the rest of the peeps, keep on fighting,
ill celebrate on ur part, lol xD

happy friday everyone! :)

jungle-ly jungle n_n"

2011-05-30T10:51:00.003+08:00

so im done with my weekends. brace myself, imma be back with the monkeys n frogs in ky.
hehe. im assuming if some my juniors are reading this n still wondering to go to ky or not, they would totally back off. hahaha.

naahhhhh kiddos. ky isnt that all bad. im starting to love it. well yea, initially i thought id die of boarding life again n again, but, it taught me give things a chance. u will never know though if u dont try. human beings tend to be judgemental. we judge things before we know the outcome of it. well.. thats just simply humans. we cant run from perceptions. neither do the tendency to form one. hands down, as much as i train myself to look at positivities, duhh, i judge people as well. and the best part is, im slowly accepting the fact that being judgemental is inevitable. and knowing that fact, i feel better (:

dont be so hard on ourselves. things meant to happen because He arranged it for us. who knows better anyway? (: life aint easy, but dont make it hard. when you open your eyes every morning, say thank you to Him. otherwise, why do we call it present?

hihi xoxo (Y)

it has been AGES!

2011-05-29T19:09:00.005+08:00

haha i know i know. its been extremelyyy ages i havent scribbled anything here. busy? well yea.. sort of. plus the connection in the college doesnt really allow me to efficiently type out whats in my head n click 'publish', so usually while waiting fr the page to load my heads already occupied with something else. pathetic? well, thats my busy life since the past 6 years. *wachehhhhhh perasan busy :P

hahahahaha. well yea.

ive came to learn lots n lots of new things in life. life in college, life outside college.

i feel i have so many things to share. n tell in here. but ill update little by little (:

anddd, to my surprise, i didnt expect people to anticipate me to update my blog hihi. im sooo terharu mannnn people read my blog n awaits my new posts. awwwwwww i know, drama queen bahaha :P but honestly thats what made me to re-layout my blog, n fill in with new, fresh ideas n posts.

so as i said, little by little hihi. n tell me if u think the new layout is hard to read or whatsoev. toodles earthlings xoxo, later (:

2011

2011-01-01T23:16:00.002+08:00

HAPPY
NEW
YEAR
2011 !
MAY
WE
ARE
BLESSED
WITH
WONDERFUL
YEARS
AHEAD,
aminnn
n_n

whats unplanned are always the best ones (:

2010-12-28T23:18:00.003+08:00

yeapp i went back to sklk !
with kak min n danny. seriously we didnt plan it though. we stopped by at ths one grocery shop where we used to go when we were in primary n believe it or not, its like the school was calling fr us. we let our feet lead the way.. till we were at the entrance of the school. i cant help but smelling the same smell, living the same atmosphere.. it was almost surreal. i cant believe ive learned the first few essence of life inside the very same compound. only, yeah they built rather quite a few new buildings and also diminished few, so the school really looked different. but it still have the same warmth, the same sense of welcoming in it.

as i walked down the corridor, my mind was slowly filled in loads n loads of every single moment that reminds me of every parts of the school.. gosh. i sat at the chairs n desks n it was sooo small to my perspective. the corridors seemed too small to fit me in, be it if i were walking with kak min or danny. ouh btw, ths is where i met danny, but ive never knew him here :) only during one of the reunions then i started to know him.

but yeah i guess i did forgotten that even as simple as a primary education may be.. its just as lesson-giving as any others can give. im really grateful and happy i had ths chance today. who knows ths cud be my first n last chance. at least before i leave ths world, i know ive came here once and reminisce what i had before. every every single bit of it is.. precious :)

thank you Allah. alhamdulillah :')

hmm

2010-12-26T01:41:00.003+08:00

ahh. feels i havent been blogging fr quite some time.
i do miss u bloggie, but i guess im not being really expressive nowadays.
in which i myself cant particularly understand why -.-

mood : sentimental
song : no christmas fr me - zee avi

i dunno if its related to wht ppl call as the phase of growing up,or is it just me losing my sense of retaining kindness, be it to myself or other people. u see, i have this feeling that im used to do whats right, do the correct thing during the correct time, as if i was more morally behaved that what i am in the present.

i easily get irritated at petty things, which was different because previously i wud be able to tell myself to just be patient, and rationalize things rather than be pessimist over things. ive been trying hard to be optimistic before, and i succeeded, but at few points it seems that it is slowly.. fading. yeah, fading out.

im scared, honestly.

i dun wanna be bad. i dun wanna lose the good values that i used to have. altho it may not be much, but its a pleasure to know i am able to nurture such values in my own self.
i dun want them to slip away. i still have a long way to go in life. and these good values are what i can hold to at least to ensure im happy doing what i want to do in life. because we cant live on our own, and we cant depend on others too much as well. i still want to care for the feelings of the people around me, especially beloveds that have done soo much.

i dun wanna be snobbish, but i cant help wanting what i want.
i dun wanna be upset, but i cant help regretting things
i dun wanna be judgemental, but i cant help judging things
i dun wanna be hypocrite, but i cant help faking things

o Allah, make me strong.
lifes too short so fuss with small small thing,

isnt it? :)

missy nafeesa ahmad ruslan !

2010-12-16T14:38:00.003+08:00

to the girl that turns 18 the day after i did, happy birthday sayang :)
i love you with every single bit of my heart.
thank you always being there for me,
and may u r blessed for the days ahead.
have funnnnn xoxo :)

18 (:

2010-12-16T08:55:00.001+08:00

alhamdulillah :)
thank you Allah for granting me another year of life.
and thank you to everyone for the thoughts and wishes,
i appreciate every single bit of it.
indeed it made my day, i cudnt feel happier.
beyond words can say how much im grateful to feel such way,
so thank you very very much :)

may God bless all of ur kindness. have a good day xoxo :)

effffff

2010-12-09T18:41:00.003+08:00

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

sorry. elin rasa nak menjerit.
-.-

sedih kan?

2010-12-09T18:32:00.002+08:00

sedih, kan?
bila ada kereta sendiri,
hadiah spm lagi,
tapi x boleh keluar.

cuti sebulan,
malah lebih dari sebulan.
tapi nak keluar pun x boleh.
dah la kolej tengah2 hutan.
nak berseronok minumlah bubble tea kat tanjung malim.
paling2 pun setengah jam jee dari kolej.

umur dah nak masuk 18,
besar panjang dah.
diri sendiri pun boleh jaga.
tapi haihh.
punya lah susah nak menapak klua dari rumah.

elin tau, bunyi mcm elin x bsyukur dgn apa yang elin ada.
keluarga bahagia, tubuh badan x cacat, belajar tempat elok,
tetapi ya, manusia mmg x pernah puas.
nak sangkal kenyataan ini?

sila cabut gigi geraham belakang belah kiri dengan tuala good morning.
!@#$%^&*()_!@#$%^&*()_!@#$%^&*()

-.-"

ya Allah, kuatkanlah hati hamba-Mu ini,
jangan biarkan ia mudah lalai dan lupa, aminn.

the end of semester 1

2010-11-27T13:27:00.001+08:00

i have nothing much to say,
that just indicates one vital thanggg x)

HOLIDAYSSS YAWWWWWWW
AWUUUUUUU HAHA :DDD

me likeyyy! :)

im happy :D

2010-11-17T22:37:00.003+08:00

well this year i celebrated aidiladha at home :)
with all the cookings and eatings hihi.
i had superbbb fun.
and later we went to wangsa walk to watch harryy potter 7.
not bad i may say :)

i just love my family, dont you?
i do hee :)

alhamdulillah, thank you Allah :')

lembu dan kambing hihi :)

2010-11-17T08:05:00.001+08:00

SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILADHA.
MAY WE ARE ALWAYS BLESSED, AMINN
^_^

tanjung malim-ness ;)

2010-11-14T20:15:00.006+08:00

i was chilling in my room,
when marissa texted and craved for pizza haha.
so she ajak to go to tanjung malim with YD along.
its not KL,
but i like the simplicity and almost-complete necessity that tanjung malim provides.
cheap summore okayy. mana nk dpt kat KL itu macamm :D
so in the taxi YD kata,

"pizza or garden?"
"pizza kat rumah blh dpt. garden seafood la :D"

me ngan marissa were practically jumping in our seats.
terextra excited dpt some non-KY air haha.
tanjung malim pun tanjung malim laaa.

the foods were nice, we loved it.
and we spotted tun abdullah badawi was eating as well.
so we got all jittery to snap a picca with him haha.
JAKUN xD

but i had fun.
thank you Allah for granting me this wonderful day,
since i did felt a bit down for unnecessary reasons these few days.
alhamdulillah :)

enjoy the piccas.
oh, n marissa n YD, thank you so so much.
lets do it again :D

one happy smile :)

i feel like uploading a picca

2010-11-13T14:24:00.003+08:00

literature class. 1malaysia summore. cool kan. haha :D

when the world is shaken up a bit,

2010-11-12T15:11:00.004+08:00

theres just some of the times that i felt like screaming,

I have never been able to truly fit in.
I suck at making friends.
All I want to do is make friends.

but then i knew what has been blurring my head.
its the rat race that everyone wants to be in,
or maybe forced to be in.
what is perceived as the highest of standards is not the maturity of thinking,
but the attention grabbed from desperately seeking,
and the worshipness that is driven from materialism.
not everyone will accept you as you are.
there are really few of such people in this world.
i know i have been practicing optimism,
and keeping things in such way,
but sometimes i do know i have to accept,
the world can sometimes be a challenging platform,
its our own duty to make it a better place.
if not for other people,
at least for ourselves.

i enjoy solitude.
but i do enjoy company as well.
but what is not understood,
by enjoying solitude i hinder company.
another scenario of judgementalism created by those who fear the ugly reality *winkss ;)
i personally believe everyone has their side of insecurities,
only its up to them to admit it, or not :)
but that doesnt mean im at all correct,
i do have these stupid fears as well sometimes.
it depends on how you see things.
in which, by being a simply normal human being,
we can never run from making mistakes and overjudge people.

be confident to stand on your own.
but also be humble enough to not stand on your own.
sometimes it does shake me as well.
but when it does i would silently pray,

O Allah, may everything will be fine, and please guide me thru all these, aminnn :)

just another ramble in the search of true contentment and happiness, insyaAllah :)

if its worth having its worth fighting for :)

2010-11-04T22:43:00.006+08:00

let the pictures do all the words,
its one the best days in my life.
ive spent time with my family, my bestest bestie, n my lover :)
i wont change them for anything else.
may this happiness lasts, aminnn.

thank you Allah :')

:')

when life feels like turning its back on you

2010-10-18T05:10:00.002+08:00

there are a few points in life,
where it feels like everything is out of place,
and we ourselves out of place,
well, i may say thats how i feel now.

i feel alone.
i feel lonely.
i feel out of place.
i feel i dont belong anywhere.
and i start to blame the same kind of boarding life ive been having since like, years.
and i start to point fingers and blame whats unnecessary.

i wud start crying.
but being me, ive noticed quite a few times i wud find my solution is to sleep,
and waking up hoping the negative thoughts wud go away.
its works though.
its just that when these shits do happen,
we always tend to forget to look at the good side of life.
it takes a few black points to stray the attention away
from the crisp whiteness of a white, plain paper.

its not easy. yea n i start to miss home.
the place and the people in it.
i know i have to be strong.
as cliche as it sounds,
thats the real deal dude.
nothing comes easy.

so come on elinnn, cheer up !

"everything happens for a reason, setiap yang berlaku itu pasti ada hikmahnya"

resultss, hmm

2010-10-16T13:39:00.004+08:00

i may say not so satisfying.
in fact if i were to include my expectations n hopes for a FIRST exam,
in which they prepare the least syllabus learned,
i shud be fidgeting in my seat now.

but still, alhamdulillah :)
ths is the result He wanted to grant me with,
i am more than reda to accept whatever He decides to give.

maths - A
economics - A
literature - C
accounts - C

now things are getting busier in KY.
my deepest apology to those i wasnt able to spend much time texting n chatting with,
sometimes i left our conversation to hang,
im truly really sorry.
as u can see how my results are,
and considering the limited time i hv on facebook,
lets say ill make it up during my sems holidays aite *yeayyyyy :D

i wont be going home for quite some time,
next week with ths health awareness week,
n then the following week class in on saturday,
but thankfully ill be home for kak mins birthday wee ~

that one, cant wait hehe :)
*winkss

come home, come home :)

2010-10-08T21:58:00.001+08:00

internet laju.

air panas.

air laju n kuat.

car rides.

overflowing notifications.

cracking jokes during dinner.

ahhh i just love home :)

hehe <3

apabila sudah merdeka,

2010-10-05T18:55:00.002+08:00

yeaaaayyyyy im done im done im done!
*peeps, please dun b jealous hehe :))

economics was nice, same goes to maths, but literature, err,
not so well.
ive almost cried after the exam.
but considering im going to have my maths afterwards,
i held it in first.
i couldnt answer the first n second ques for maths,
since i was still too distracted by my lit,
later towards the end only i managed to answer it again.
sum number misplaced, pheww.

went to cafe, feels good to have the burden all lifted out.
hehe.
whatever the results may be,
ill just pray fr the best, tawakkal to Allah.
ive gave my best shot, whats the outcome is up to Him.

i believe everything happens for a reason :)

last few words,

MERDEKAAAAAAAAAAAAAA :DDD

tuesdayyy

2010-10-04T07:28:00.000+08:00

cepatla habis exam!
hehe :p

and accounting starts the ball rolling

2010-10-02T13:51:00.003+08:00

today was my first exam paper, accounting.
and it wasnt easy. yeap it wasnt.
i broke down yesterday, i feared the fact wht ive did wasnt sufficient enuff.
its not fair considering the rest had their two years of accounting behind them.
thts what my incapable-of-thinking-rationally mind of mine said.
after wailing at the phone with mama n danny,
i dozed off.
my brain felt congested. suffocating.
ive never been in such non-optimism state.
its like im degrading myself to a point im losing faith in myself.
it was terrible. to have such feeling.
to lose confidence in yourself.
and your soul became as dry as the pages of the books. lifeless.
and so i shut my eyes. ran away from the harsh n ugly reality.

it was dusk when i woke up.
surprisingly my head felt lighter.
it wasnt as stuffed as it was few hours ago.
n i embraced this feeling. gladly.
and as i was standing in front of God,
i know everything will be absolutely ok :)

its one of the moments where He was testing.
how far would i go to seek his blessing.
where wud i put Him as the prime dependency when these times popped.
and i realized, i shudnt give up tooo easily.

altho accounts wasnt easy,
but i knew i tried my very very best.
i didnt left any questions blank,
with hope i wud score a bit here n there.
plus, soar optimism soar.
its the only cure it takes to kill all the vibes.

dear Allah, make me strong :)

exams

2010-09-27T06:58:00.001+08:00

MCB just ended,
so exam mode : ON

n im loving ky more day by day.
lets hope this lasts, aminn

alhamdulillah, thank you Allah :)

common sense ;

2010-09-24T08:35:00.003+08:00

yeah, sometimes elin pun tak boleh lari,
sometimes our common senses can be soo out of place.
its either we annoy people,
or simply people annoy us.
thats the thing when we do things together.
we cant have everyone to b in.
but at least we know how to make ourselves useful.
and let down a bit the sense of selfishness+ego.

the more i meet new people,
the more i learn.

yeea sometimes its hard.
not even easy at all at times.
but thats how i learn.
n rings the tiny alarm inside me to nt treat others the same.

what we give,
is what we get back.

if were kind to others,
others will b kind enough to us. or at least.

it not a matter of pride, or striving.
its about balancing living together,
and achieving together.

so..
if i did anything wrong,
apologies deep down frm the heart :)

helloo optimism :)

its not getting any easier, but ill try :)

2010-09-21T14:55:00.002+08:00

ict class, 1504.

class has just started yesterday,

n up till now its surely reallyyyy hectic. now the ky vibe is starting to fill in. like bibik said "bagi 3 bulan, n im sure ure gonna b fine" :) yesterday marked my two months here btw! n alhamdulillah, im starting to get okayy with ky. altho the jungle hasnt really filled me in, but i can feel im slowly in this place. as in, in in. haha. i noe, ive been complaining bout the boarding life, ive been thinking bout my previous offers, butttt, isnt this what He has arranged?

and arent i as a normal human shud adhere to his qada' n qadar? i remembered those days when i did my istikarahs, n i believe what my heart has been whispering without fail.
if this is what He wants me to be, then i believe He has arranged whts best.

everything has its hikmah :)

"Dia tidak akan membebankan hambaNya melainkan yang terbeban olehnya"

yeapp elin. positive :)

its the same routine.. again -.-"

2010-09-19T11:25:00.002+08:00

sunday morning, wake up, start pack my things.
clothes, books, FOODS, toiletries, etc, etc, and the list goesss.
hop into the car, wave everyone bye2, n im off to my destination.
when its holidays again, pack up my things,
mummy or daddy come to pick me up, n im home again.
when im back at my destination again.
n im home again.
and the circle goes onnn and onnn.

its not that i dun like it, somehow i get tired of it.
5 freaking years, and now another 2 years.
whooossshhhh. ouh yea, we cant drive our own car to college.
kyuem is like a prep school,
cool enough, yes i love it,
but.. its just somehow the same.
i want to try a new.. routine.
u know, out from the boarding routine.
i know im complaining,
i myself also dun understand why is it so hard for me to think things positively.
back then that was my strength.
how shitty things are i wud shut myself n think the good of it.

why now it seems soooo hard? aiyoyo =.="

ok,ok.

"Everything happens for a reason, whether its good or bad, it always turns out to be good for something."

go elin. u can do this.
cheer up lady cheer up :)

immature

2010-09-17T22:19:00.003+08:00

i guess ive been really immature these past few days.
and my previous posts proves that.
haha.

elin elin.
ya lah, there are some points that,
i feel i need to outgrow myself,
if i were to b happy with my life.
its just sometimes.. i slipped easily.
forgive me if u find to b uncomfortable with my use of words.

we never feel satisfied with what we have, dont we?

please, always show me whats right n whats wrong.
because i make mistakes, im no perfect.

i just wanna b happy with what i do :)

tell the worlddddd

2010-09-16T12:10:00.001+08:00

yes, im telling the world im annoyed, bengang, pissed off.

markkkkk me all youuuu wantttttt
criticize me all youuuuu wanttttttttt
i just soooo cannot tahan alreadyyyyyyy

homaigoshhhh please lah!

~_~"

yes, this is very very childish. i just want to mengomel :'/

2010-09-15T11:19:00.003+08:00

yes, and elin xtau dh brape kali elin post about ths very same issue.

I WANT MY FREEDOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM -.-"

*tarik nafas dalam2, lepass*

elin dah besa ok. at least elin dh boleh jaga diri. elin x mintak lebih pun. kelua tgh hari, balik b4 6. bukan klua clubbing *memang over dead body lah kan -.-" . or evennnn klua malam. hanya hang out yang normal.

suka kan elin x dapat klua? puas hati kan?

and yang paling hati x tahan, elin nak hantar orions kat KLIA.
ada yang elin penah tutor dulu, ada yang penah tutor elin dulu,
it wud b really really nice to see them fly,
they are the pioneers of the journey of the others.

hari yang bersejarah utk ahliahli orions :)

lamaaa dah x jumpa orions.
im going to really really miss u guys.
doa elin akan sentiasa mengiringi setiap langkah dan perjalanan,
so take care k :')

andd while browsing thru newsfeed fb,
everyones talking bout open houses, konvoi raya,
RSVPs to their open houses,
gatherings, reunions,

NO. end.

ape masalah ha?
before nie xde masalah kan? whats the diff dulu n now?
fyi, ive started college. i dun go back that often.
i dun get to see everyone that often.
ive been living in boarding school the past 5 years.
n now 2 years n soon 3 years summore.
dun u just get it?

yes, say im not being grateful.
but my pain has been accumulating,
n do u want me to make my final move?

TAK NAK kan?

im sorry, im just too upset.

selamat hari rayaaaaaa ^^

2010-09-10T17:58:00.003+08:00

selamat hari raya aidilfitri!
maaf zahir batin kalau ada salah dan silap.
have fun n enjoyyyyyyyyyyyyy ur raya!
hehe :)

*for more piccas, as usual, FB :D*

happy birthday daddy!

2010-09-08T22:19:00.002+08:00

happy **th birthday yah :D hahaha
elin bersyukur sangat2 dengan izin Allah,
ayah dipanjangkan umur, dan diberikan kesihatan olehNya.
thank you for every single thing,
and whatever happens,
i will never stop loving you :)

happy birthday ayah :)

hanya dari jauh,

2010-09-05T23:57:00.004+08:00

elin tak pernah simpan dendam
elin tak pernah lupa apa yang pernah diberi
elin tak pernah lupa mengikuti perkembangan di sana
elin tak pernah tak merindui kasih yang ditumpahkan

semua elin masih ingat

elin tak akan lupa

walau apa yang telah diperkatakan,
atau telah, atau masih diperkatakan,
elin sentiasa mendoakan yang terbaik
hanya Tuhan dapat menentukan apa yang akan terjadi seterusnya

sungguh, elin sangat rindu, tapi sekelumit kesal itu masih terkesan sehingga hari ini

:/

shes nuffy!

2010-08-29T11:00:00.001+08:00

yeay! she came :))
thank you sayang,
nanti kite buat lagi kay?
muaxxxxx :)

of coffee bean and gossips

2010-08-28T00:42:00.004+08:00

again one of the reunions with PKTR-ians,
only ths time much much more came.
in which im soooooo happy cuz i freakingly miss every single one of em :))
to dickson n ee von n nadia n joel in particular,
im so so so sorry to make you guys wait.
i wasnt doing it on purpose,
it was beyond my intention to make it superb duperbly late,
apologies deep down frm the heart.

but all in all altho its during fasting month,
no biggie:)
i enjoyed every single bit of it.
the gossips, the deafening laughter, the smiles,
ill cherish all of it.
andddd for the next reunion to come,
i really hope everyone wud b around as well :)

its like ure back to a place where everything felt dejavu-ish,
only ths time its real.
n nuthins more real than being able to hug them and look in their eyes,
n say to yourself,

"yeap, they are the same lunatics i was with during that two weeks"

hehe:)

i love all of you, seriously:)

homie homee

2010-08-26T22:49:00.000+08:00

it feels so good to be home :)

satu bulan, tapi,

2010-08-21T02:58:00.001+08:00

today marks my one month in ky,
but its also my first time broke down in ky.

and also my first time fell ill in ky.
warning : medical attention are not easy to get,
so take a good care of yourself.

this is lembah beringin we're talking about.

of literature and accounts

2010-08-17T17:41:00.004+08:00

well yesterday was our first class with puan norain, since she has just came back from her maternity leave, and as assumed, and told by the seniors, she is strict and have her own ways and principles of teaching. in which i find very, er good since i need a vast amount of discipline for my accounts. to my surprise, only 4 students without basics in accounts including me, and the rest * FOR GOD SAKE got A+ for their accounts during SPM.

so u can tell how inferior i felt. how insecure and low my emotions was.

later during literature, ms isabel gave a sheet which she listed her overall comments on our first essay. and when i got my essay back, most of the comments were there in my essay.
seeing other people got good comments and remarks, again i feel so low, as low as ever.
now that its a whole different thing, im scared that i wont be up to the standard i should be.
i know i have the competency for english, at least i know where i stand among the others. but i do also know that writing skills, to produce beautiful paragraph of words, is not where i would list myself in. grammars, my major problem. and knowing writing is where most of the students got their marks pulled down, doubles up the anxiety that ive already have.

everything didnt seem good at all. i became blurred by the fact how am i going to make myself good.

so when i went back to the chalet i knew i couldnt keep it alone. it wud make things worse; and i have to find someone to let it go. layla patiently listened, and i couldnt thank her enuff. thank you sweetheart :) the burden felt turned slightly lighter, and i felt i could breathe again.

and then the cell rang. it was danny and i told him everything. and again, everything felt much lighter. thank you dear, i really appreciate it :)

i went to see zehan after tarawih, and she was a superb teacher. she taught me accounts till midnight, and during exam this morning, altho i didnt finish it, my balance sheet was empty, but im satisfied with myself. i knew that it was my best shot and i put my effort for it. im more than willing to make improvements. theres spaces more and i wont put it on waste. thank you zehan :)

during literature i had a heart to heart talk with ms isabel, on how i felt my essay was. i knew it was bad, and ms isabel herself said shes slightly frustrated to see my essay despite my performance in class. i myself have to admit, i have no problems in understanding the text so far, and voicing out opinions, but when it comes to put it down on paper, thats where my weakness is. i have no intention of dropping literature, as far as im concerned i really loved it, i love ms isabel, i love the analyzing, i love the readings. im grateful i still have pointers on the others aspects, on this one particular part i have to put extra n extra n extra work in it. im glad ms isabel was more than willing to help, and shes really happy i want to stay in her class. thank you ms isabel, and im really comforted with your hug, so thank you so much :)

things may be hard, and it taught me not to be proud of your past. i mean i may go around and state im used to the boarding -school-ish environment, as what ive been through for the past 5 years will make my stay here a-no problemo at all.

NO.

as life goes i believe more n more challenges awaits. it may be an advantage, but not something i would carry around being proud of. and yeah, nothing is easy in the early stage, so its up to us to bring ourselves back up. who will help you if you dont help yourself firstly first? :)

oh, and u always have good people around you to help you out. i couldnt thank you everyone enuff :') have i mentioned puan zaharah? yeah she taught me ielts and was more than happy to help when i shared with her about all these. thank you teacher :)

hehs :)

its raining and i love it. hello optimism :D

petfamilies and ramadhan :)

2010-08-13T01:22:00.005+08:00

for a while i wont be playing with egg yolks. having it stuck on your hair isnt quite a good condition for them. and clothes. and your room. haha xD

we were having ths game in ky. juniors have to find their petfamily, by writing letters frm time to time to them. they will reply by giving clues who they r. some ended correct but some r just plain bluff. haha. im glad mines ok. in fact very ok. its just like master mosquito in ssp ^^

so there comes the day when the juniors have to reveal who their petfamily members r based on the clues they got. ive got mine correct, janice, amin n waidy :) but then again, u wont call it tradition for nothing. the punishment was still being made for everyone. haha. so the first round they threw balloons filled with water mixed with eggs, maggi. sausages, etc etc, anything that u could think yucky enuff xD n the second round they took out cartons of eggs (yes rawww eggs) n started to throw to each other. i grabbed one n smashed it on amin (ou yeah xD) n i turned around to search fr janice. (x aci, die dh xde =.=) but i ended up being chased by q n kak jannah. haha. ended up i got three eggs pecah baekkkk punya from both of em n amin. hahaha. i was a yolk monster. smell like one, look like one. LOL xD well as revenge i started to hug the seniors. hoho that was fun ^^

n i have to wait for my chaletmates to finish off their showers, so you can imagine how the eggs got dry on my skin. new skin formulation yawww LOL x) but it was seriously fun. i enjoyed every single bit of it. n no doubt i love my petfamily as well. im really really glad to b part of you guys, thank you sooo much :)

so yesterday was the first of ramadhan, marks my first day of fasting in ky. alhamdulillah i have no problems with it, prolly because of the five years n the tummy is becoming immuned to foods (eceh) haha xD

amin said he wanted to bring the whole petfam to the bazaar, but he cancelled last minute saying he got errands. i was excited when he told the plan, but considering seniors got their results today, so no biggie, its very much understood. ill always have your back k sis n bro ;)
talking bout their results, n seeing so many different emotions in ky today.. it freaks me out a bit. i mean i have to admit ive been facebooking too much n need to start to get myself working. ms daleen said just now,

"start working, or u will regret,"

n she made it sound spooky big time i tell you. errrr O.O

n since im going back ths weekend, i was thinking of catching up with my accounts since im seriously totally lost in it. it happens when u have zero basics in it -.- so nuffy (if ure reading ths) im sorry i have to cancel our plan n sorry danny we cnt break fast together, i hope u guys understand n_n with gods willing im sure we cn meet up soon, insyaAllah :)

so tomorrow im going back, n im super excited hehe :)
ive been here since registration,
i noe its barely a month but i hv to admit i do somehow need some none-ky air hoho^^sometimes i wonder where gone all the immunity ive built fr the past five years. haha LOL xD
homie homeee here i come baby :DD

ouh. and HAPPY FASTING EVERYONE ;))

blending in x)

2010-08-06T15:27:00.002+08:00

hello bloggie :)

felt it has been quite some time i havent blogged, hehe

yea things r lil bit hectic here, ive done with UEM's camp for its scholars last week, n ended up cuts n bruises here n there, but but it was surely fun n im soo happy to b able to know the rest of the scholars :)

batch anniversary was also last week, performed dance hehs:)

n this week a bit tight with cultural performance's practices, this time in the malay dance,
at first i signed up for sketch, but no idea hw ended up in malay dance, but dun mind hehe :)

classes also so far going on well, trying to catch up with accounts since most of em already learnt during spm, n im trying really hard not to doze off during classes after lunch, haha memang killer xD

homeworks, needless fr me to say, u cn guess the load-ness of it x)

n im really2 looking forward to go bck home, ^^ since i kinda miss everyone n might as well some social life, u noe being in here drives me mad a bit knowing im stuck in the middle of a jungle n the nearest town is like, tanjung malim, haha :D but as some of the seniors said, "ur friends r ur entertainment here," so i guess have to grasp to that fact haha :D xpe lahhh go elin go :)

but alhamdulillah, so far everythings fine and i hope it stays that way, amin:)

tragedi jatuh longkang T.T

2010-07-27T18:44:00.003+08:00

haishhh haha.
so were done with our morning exercises,
n went to our chalets,
n to reach the walkway the shorter route,
we have to climb ths small bukit with a longkang in front of it.
when i tried to cross the longkang,
my other kaki got stuck, n straight away fell into the longkang,
pulling my body inside it as well.
the longkang was quite dalam, so i was totally soaked in.

denggggg. it was effing pain i tell you.
since one kaki got in first, so it went in contact with the wall of the longkang.
OUCH :'(
but then,
everyone came running n offered their hand to pull me put.
so with only one pull i was out.
n God knows how touched i am with their concerns :')
when i was at the hall everyone kept asking if i was ok :')
n i updated my status,
n comments came in n fb chats started buzzing.
awwwhhhh :')

it really touched me :)
as what ive learnt frm johari window last nite,

you are never alone :)

KYUEM : the beginning :)

2010-07-25T07:23:00.002+08:00

hello hello :)

i noe it has only been a few days im here, but it feels i havent been online for ages. haha. prolly because ive been online sooo much fr the past 7 months. sangap sekejap time awal2 x dpt online. haha. online at night is a big killer fr you. siput also can run faster LOL xD now its 7.25 am n im very sure everyone dozing off, plus its sunday, n mybe sum went back, so yeah, siput sudah upgrade leh hehe x)

so when i first reached here i didnt expect it to be this secluded. i mean yeah, its still in kl, but so hulu i didnt feel like im in selangor HEHE :)) but my first impression was ths place is cool, and im more than happy to spend my next 2 years here.

ive been living in SSP for the past 5 years, so i cant help but comparing SSP n KY. one very very distinct diff that i cn feel is the approach of the seniors. seniors n junis bond really well to the extent they dun even want 'abang' or 'kakak' in front of their name. back in SSP i would be dead meat by then haha. if i may say their approach is much.. gentle :) n with such approach, im respecting them far far more than when i was in SSP. so when kindness is prevailed, when they ask for anything, i have no grudge at all to say no, im more then willing n happy to help em. it really made me see the power of kindness :) im nt saying SSP is no kind at all, but with the customs that has been long practiced in there, im no surprise why respecting the elders has always been a big issue. but to think again, prolly it should be that way, considering were here are 18, hopefully matured enough to think things, rather than a 13 year old kiddo who are still trembling around finding her way with things :)

no doubt being in SSP for 5 years helped me to adapt to things here. i dun deny altho i have 5 years behind me i still do the 'unstable emotion' the first few days. but from what ive learnt i can cope with it hehe :) of course la, nuthin gets easy so fast meyh. but i love the fact im slowly learning things, boosts my confidence day by day :)

for classes, havent started yet, but ill be taking up econs, maths, literature, and accouting. i was having dilemma with literature n further maths in the first place, as im sort of a maths person, so i thought further maths would be fine, but then literature would you know, somehow help me when im in UK later. n to brush up my english. so theres one session where we cn talk to the tcrs, n the maths tcr said to me,

"if ure doing accounting, dun even bother bout further maths"

cool man! straight meyh haha :) likey like like :DD
so literature it is :)) lets kick our asses n strive hoyeah! LSE LSE :D

talking bout striving, theres one time a senior asked my group, so, anyone wants to go out so far?

"weve been kicking our ass to be in here, so y should we go out?"
hahaha yeapp. this is what ive been wanting.
n im so so so grateful, for ths place is more than okay.
the seniors, the environment, the culture.
eh lupe nk cite psl food haha.
one word. AWESOME!
im freaking friggin effing worried bout my diet haha:DD

again, im really really grateful.
n i wont waste ths
ill be doing whtever it needs to make my dreams come true :)

n, this is only the beginning :)

nak tau?

2010-07-15T21:55:00.003+08:00

selepas setiap kesusahan, pasti ada kebaikan.

sebab Tuhan xkan membebankan hambaNya melainkan yang terbeban olehnya.

maka setipa insan yang diuji itu mendapat tempat di sisiNya.

kerana Tuhan sentiasa mahukan dirinya beringat dan saling mengingati.

oleh sebab itu hati perlu sentiasa sabar, fikiran perlu sentiasa rasional.

dan saat saat itulah kita tahu siapa yang setia di sisi kita.

siapa yang benar-benar ikhlas menyayangi diri kita.

supaya apabila perkara yang sama terjadi pada mereka,

itulah masanya untuk membalas jasa-jasa mereka.

alhamdulillah, sekurang-kurangnya saya sudah tahu siapa mereka.

harapannya agar hubungan dengan mereka tidak putus mahupun menjadi keruh.

insyaAllah.

you know who you are, so from the deepest of my heart, thank you.

even thank you doesnt describes it right.

saya sangat sangat menyayangi kalian <3

:)

my past six months, in selasih :)

2010-07-12T18:20:00.005+08:00

"elin dah xde nnt, selasih hilang la seri"

awwww thats damn sweet kak min! hahaha :) yea so tomorrows my last day in selasih. and for the past six months, i have to say ive gained a lot of experience from working here. AS IN A LOT, seriously i tell you.
and im very very grateful i got this chance to learn bout people of different background n races. and to not to judge people from the outside. to learn how to deal with people. to learn to give orders when you were given the authority. to learn how some humans are lack of civil and common senses. theres just plenty for me to list down, haha. but not today lah. later later.

yea, sometimes i do feel treated like shit. no doubt on that. but hey come on, cant expect it to be good all the time. if it doesnt happen, i will never learn. elin x kan amek iktibar, kan? the shitty feeling is only for a while, what we gain is the one that is absolutely priceless. yeap, its seriously priceless. and taught us to not do the same to others. because we know how it feels. how to be in their shoes. it constantly reminds us to think of others. and again, thats why i feel all these are absolutely priceless :)

its not about the salary, well, yea feels good to have your own money hehe, but after dah joli during the weekend, pehh haha :) at least i know how precious weekends are. 5 days working from seven to five is no doubt tiring, everytime i came home bed is all i cn think of, haha, but well, thats how it feels. and later u would want to treasure every single minute u have for the weekends. it feels a total waste to just sit doing nothing at home. haha. jimba jimba xD

but most of all, nothing makes my day more than people saying thank you and smile after they paid for their food. the feeling is, indescribable. yes, i made it my habit to say thank you when i give their change, although im nt really sure who shud said thank you, but who cares? its in a way my way of showing gratitude fr coming to selasih. and so when other people do the same to us, every single effing feeling disappears. God knows how glad the feeling is to know people appreciates what we do. and thats what im trying apply in my daily life. theres no liability in saying 'thank you' or 'sorry' or even smile to other people. by the end of the day, nothing makes us happier than making other people happy, agree? :)

now that im leaving for college, ill miss all these. but despite that, im truly happy ive learnt all these. at least i can look back and say, "yeah, ive made full use of my 6 months, ive got something that not everyone can get" :)

thank you mostly to ayah, i think none of these i wud gain without you, seriously yah :)

and to the others, kak rokiah, kak atie, kak pah, abang fuad, pakcik mie, ujang, zahari, kak liza and also the mostly most most beloved, kak min :)

good luck in handling selasih aite sista. im sure u will be absolutely fine, of course, it will take some time, but before u know it, u wud be better than me haha :D thank you for being my dose of laughter every morning, its seriously my booster for the whole day hee x)

so take my word, no matter how good, or even bad something is, theres always something to learn behind it :)

adios :D

current addict ADDICTION :D

2010-07-06T19:56:00.002+08:00

believe me, u have noo idea how im so in love with this thing;
POCOYO!
even i was crying so terribly, it never fails to make smile :)
they have the indescribable element that will u laughing and enjoying it big time.
thats y i love it.
in fact effing EFFING loving it :)

4 cerita cinta :D

2010-07-03T10:12:00.003+08:00

semua ada cerita masing2. awwhh dah besar sume. dh pandai dahhh haha :)
dulu kecik kecik balik kelantan time raya layan gosip je.
abang depan rumah yang hensem, haha.
now sume dh ade life masing masing, bile dapat lepak sekali,
ohhh sangat bahagia :D
bukak cite utara selatan timur barat kehkeh.
thank you God for blessing me with these wonderful people,
i love them till the end :)

i have this disease O.O

2010-07-01T05:57:00.005+08:00

and believe me, it drives me nuts. my mood is capable of swinging. BIG TIME i tell you. ive started to discover during a session when i was in form 4. everyone has to pass around paper with our name on it and everyone is free to comment anything on the owner of the sheet of paper. when we were done, i may say almost ALL suggested i should be less emo-ish at times and learn how to control my emotions, especially when i find its hard.

phew. it was quite a big slap on my face.

so since that moment ive tried really hard to control things. in terms related to emotions n all. and after a while i find it quite manageable. maybe not fully, but at least i cn see some improvement.

until recently, especially since im almost entering 18, i find its rather a bit hard to control it altogether again. n plus i have so many new things in life ie : entering college, social life, love life, etc. somehow at few points i find yes, i can deal with things. i cn deal if daddy doesnt really let my freedom, i cn deal if mama has her tantrums, i cn deal if my best friend misunderstands a few things, i cn deal with criticism, i cn deal if my partner is rather close with the people of his oppo sex, i cn deal if im treated like a dog at selasih, and so the list goes.

but,

despite everything, sometimes i do have anger, i do feel irritated, i still have jealousy, i feel hurt, i feel anxiety, i do have tears, and these also the list goes.

maybe its hormones (lagi? haha) i dunno if other human beings have it as well, but somehow in a way im glad i know my weakness. cause when i feel things are not right and the world around me is falling apart, i can always blame this disease of mine haha. in a way i still know life is not worth over small and petty things. its just maybe there are times i slipped off and forgot the reality of life. were not always on top, neither at the bottom. its a never ending circle :D

good morning world :)

kak lin n abang wil :)

2010-06-26T07:42:00.004+08:00

despite everything, im glad these two events; kak lins akad nikah n bersanding puts my mind off things. so here i wud like to wish,

SELAMAT PENGANTIN BARU
AZLIN ARIFFIN SHAH DAN WILL YAP WEI SIN

semoga berbahagia hingga ke anak cucu, aminn :)

terguris :/

2010-06-23T19:15:00.002+08:00

betapa kata kata itu boleh mengguris hati.
betapa kata kata itu boleh menghiris bak sembilu.
betapa kata kata itu begitu senang dan lancang diluahkan.
betapa kata kata itu diluahkan oleh seseorang yang sangat dihormati.
betapa kata kata itu pantas sahaja keluarnya tanpa usul selidik dahulu.
betapa kata kata itu hanya berdasarkan yang luaran tanpa melihat apa yang sebenarnya.
betapa kata kata itu diluahkan sehingga segala yang baik dikaburi terus.

tentu pada anda saya hina kan?
saya tak mengenang budi kan?
saya tak tahu menjaga nama kan?
saya teladan yang paling hodoh dalam sejarah kan?
saya mudah lupa diri dan alpa kan?
saya mudah hanyut dengan godaan dunia dan tidak memikirkan orang tua kan?
saya kolot dan menerima pengaruh sosial secara membuta tuli, atau culture shock kan?
segala yang saya belajar anda rasa sia-sia.

ketahuilah, walau bagaimana saya pun, budi dan jasa anda tidak pernah saya lupa.
sehingga ke mati saya akan kenang, biar nyawa dan jasad dipisahkan.
biar hati yang terguris ini saya bawa sampai mati.

kebenaran hanya Yang Maha Esa tahu.

i have happy news today :D

2010-06-22T18:44:00.005+08:00

one ;
my days of agony ended when i woke up this morning. the feeling ive been feeling these past few days somehow, gone. the feeling of terasa hati, jauh hati n kecik hati everything disappeared. God knows how grateful i am. im freaking tired of being miserable with no mojo to do absolutely anything. its sucks when u can see the positive side of things but u can never really grab it and digest the facts that u can see clearly. to add it up u have to swell everything inside because basically it would be very much noticeable to everyone in the house uve been crying your eyes out. instead, u swallow it in painfully. so when i was getting ready to selasih i can feel the burden is no longer there. im very, very relieved. finally i can laugh again. no fake fake one n_n"

two ;
everything is doing well between me n naff. see what she wrote on her status :

Knowing that my best friend is okay now, I feel so much better ♥

if it is directed to me then thank you so much sayang. i love you till death :)

three ;
okay fine ive been missing danny terribly. warning : this is not an attempt for PDA-ing but yes its what i feel. so when i was at the cashier, he came! haha weeeeeeeee :) altho he came during lunch hour n God knows how packed n crowded the kedai was, im thrilled cause hes in selasih! ala come on la u guys noe how this lovey dovey thing goes hahaha. it was on short notice but wee im happy im happy im happy:D

four ;
one customer came in and he brought along his daughter. the name is amanda (HAHA) but she addressed herself aenda. when she had done with her food n her daddy continued talking to his friend, she came to me n sat on my lap and put her arms around my neck. and she didnt even let go for a single minute. its just really, touching. ive been blinded by hatred and despair these few days till i cant see how simple a love is. :')

so yeah im happy. obviously haha :)

geez. good things always happen when u least expect it. thank you God :')

that would make your life easier, isnt it?

2010-06-20T14:19:00.005+08:00

soon im going to be off to college.
u have nothing more to worry.
ill be very much secluded, u need not to worry of me coming back late.
or even going anywhere. its 'sumwhere in the middle of nowhere' there
i noe u will be happy.
yeah thats what u want kan?
no longer me being stubborn listening to you.
or yelling at the end of the phone when u force me to come back.
honestly me myself im tired of listening to the yellings.
u will be totally anxiety-free.

geez.
im so happy for you.
then i wonder,
who will take care of ur feelings when im gone?
u noe ill always love you no matter what.
but have u ever understand the feeling ive been feeling?

nahh. u dont.
forget bout it.
it seems being away is the only way.
i have feelings, too.
come fast july, come please.

statement : overprotected

2010-06-19T09:36:00.003+08:00

yes, im overprotected. and as i grow i feel it shouldnt be the way like i was 7. i have so many things in life to explore. and if anything happens, let me learn my own mistakes. that will make me a wiser person.

dont u think so? or im another 17-becoming-18 teen that whims about her freedom.

or maybe my hormones. pity u H. i always blame u.

its just simply ridiculous.

i believe in my first statement.

geez. this is emo-ish. i kan mood swinger.

haha n_n"

ure too sweet to b true lah :)

2010-06-16T02:24:00.002+08:00

i miss you too baby. more than words can say :)

updates wee

2010-06-13T13:35:00.005+08:00

im just plain bored, so lining up some of the highlights fr the next few weeks to come ;

18th june : 2nd meeting wedding kak lin
venue - taman permata

19th june : manda n nayzu n emira's birthday party! wee :D
venue - cheras

21st june : visit from deputy finance minister to memorial tun razak
venue - memorial tun razak

25th june : akad nikah kak lin
venue - taman permata

26th june : wedding kak lin
venue - dewan perdana felda

3rd july : reception belah abg wil
venue - nikko hotel

17th july : kenduri kesyukuran
venue - home sweet home

20th july : off to kyuem!
venue : lembah beringin :D

hehehehe :)

its bolabola time :D

2010-06-12T08:01:00.004+08:00

when girls watch football, these are some of the things u will hear,

"ouh god tgk eyebrow die! gle nice!"

"ish gle tonggek player tu"

"haha comeeel je rambut die. side parting and curls die intact je"

"eh die dah cekak dh rambut die?"

"ouh damnnnn sure saket gle bhai lutut dieee"

*a hot player stares at the camera*
"ouh damnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn *screamscreamscream"

*the camera focuses on the hot player, again,
"*screamscreamscreamscreamscreamscream*"
*phone n whtsoever sume tpelanting
"pasni nak google! ape nama die, mariguez ke?"

"yang rambut cute td santoz kan?"

ahaha. n more to list. but altho im no football fan,
but its quite a thing to enjoy hee :)
looking fr next match, n watch at NZ!
was planning last nite, but stayed home instead,
ayah just came bck frm klntn n so watched with him lah *awwwww :)
its sooooo bola fever!
waka waka eh eh! :)

two months, and counting

2010-06-10T21:04:00.002+08:00

happy two month dear. ilysdm :)

sunway pyramid ! (Y)

2010-06-06T09:51:00.003+08:00

let the piccas do the talking. ive had a blast. enuff said :)

thank u Allah :')

menggedik + jakun-ness xD

2010-06-05T08:23:00.003+08:00

menggedik namanye. -.-"
hahahaha :D

pb i freaking missing you T.T

go, fight, win! SCUD!

2010-06-04T18:09:00.003+08:00

alhamdulillah, for ths year the victory is again ours,
congratulations SCUD!
u make all of us proud again.
let pray and hope for the years to come, insyaAllah :)

again, congrats!
sekali SSP memencak, kejayaan pasti di puncak!

heres some sneak peak from last year hehe.
good ol times :)

p/s : this first picca is the soo oh-my-gawdddd one haha ^^

alhamdulillah again :')

another great day, thank you :)

2010-05-30T21:59:00.003+08:00

soooooo met up with missy nafeesa ahmad ruslan!
awhhhhh babe i missed you! xD
grabbed a juice work n choc milkshake,
headed to the park, ouh in klcc,
snapped photos here n there wee :)

later on nuff had to get back to work,
so directed to toys r us n off she go:)

i loved every single moment i had with you sayang. muah muah :)

then i watched prince of persia.
alone act haha :))
not bad though watching muvee alone haha.

persia is not that bad, but somehow rather boring at few parts.
the visual effects are undeniably superb,
but ya lah, cn feel lacking sumthin here n there.
im no good muvee reviewer,
but thats what i think. haha,
the guy beside me was practically sleeping LOL xD
and to my surprise everyone cleared the cinema really fast hehe.

later catched up with danny.
nova arts gallery, first time there, rather interesting though :)
new experience wee :D
kinokuniya n some starbucks,
and said bubbye to naffy.

thank u naff. thank u danny.
i had a great day today :)
hope to see u guys again soon aite.
xoxo :)

xoxo :)

2010-05-28T22:49:00.003+08:00

shortly after i posted my status, i was really glad im not the only one feeling it.
im glad everyone misses everyone.
awwwwwhhh :')
no words can describe hw much i want to meet everyone.
xpelah.
the time will come, insyaAllah.

xoxo :)

wheres everyone?

2010-05-28T18:33:00.003+08:00

mostly entered uni already.

i dunno who to ring to meet up n catch up some sassy gossips

dannys tooooo busy with his clients n works n what-so-ever

some are working.

theres a drastic plummeting in fb users among people of my age =.=

basically i feel soo lonely.

soooooooo lonely T.T

i need... everyone. or at least someone.

skype-ing and fb-ing and phone calls n sms-ing alone r not enuff.

geez, im greedy man. haha.

xpe lah. mybe bcuz i havent started uni yet.

i hope soon ok la tu :)

crying in silence

dengarkanlah ^^

2010-05-28T01:41:00.001+08:00

it has been quite some time i havent been into malay songs :)

Berkerdipan
Bintang di langit malam meneman bulan
Mengasyikkan memadu asmara di sebalik awan

Oh bulan
Ku ingin berterus terang
Meluahkan perasaan

Angin lalu
Meniup menghembus membisik namamu
Menemankan senyuman menawan di buai khayalan
Bahagia itu yang aku inginkan
Milik kita selamanya

Dengarkanlah laguku
Ku ciptakan untukmu
Menghargai dirimu di sisiku
Dengarkanlah laguku
Ku nyanyikan untukmu
Buat sekian lama
Hanyalah dikau di hatiku

Percaya pada segala yang ku janjikan
Hidup bersama seperti bulan dan bintang

Dengarkanlah

love love love

2010-05-24T01:16:00.002+08:00

haha.
i was soo damn bored, so i started to click on people's profile,
and also blogs.

n call me lame,
but almost ALL, ALL of my peeps r in a relationship.
haha.
what more can i say?
im happy for u guys kay :D
may the happiness last, Gods will :)

n no doubt, i hope mine as well :)

ilysm :)

ouhh my

2010-05-23T00:45:00.000+08:00

SUNGHA JUNG.

ouhhh my. angau alert xD

about JPA,

2010-05-22T08:17:00.003+08:00

okay, alhamdulillah i made it for JPA.
but honestly peeps, i feel really2 sorry for those didnt get it.
i mean they got excellent results, impressive resume,
if i cud name someone to take my place,
i wud surely put one of u guys in.

and yea, im going to totally stick to UEM.
nuthin will change that.
but ayah was practically jumping up down in his seat when he saw my offer.
i noe whats in his mind ;

JPA state it clearly that ill go to UK, but UEM erm, i might say wait till im done with my a levels

and, er, KDU is so friggin effing near to selasih

haha. LOL much.
but still UEM it is :)

so my dearie peeps,
i hope u guys are strong aite.
let go of all the bad vibes n look things on the bright side.
everything happens for a reason n im sure sumthin very very good awaits all of you.
im always here if u guys need anything k?
cheer up cheer up :)

p/s : if u guys wanna hang out to let it go frm ur chest im always totally definitely absolutely OK hehe :DD

see what hormones can do to you n_n"

2010-05-18T17:13:00.004+08:00

when i read the previous post i felt like laughing. as in OUT LOUD.
another paranoid side of me haha.

btw, deleted already. fine im being too public. when my intention was on the other side of the road people always see the other way round. lain kali report kat mama lagi ok? THANK YOU SOO MUCH :)

ouhhhh elin n___n"

i am proud to be your student :)

2010-05-16T00:44:00.002+08:00

Jika hari ini seorang Perdana Menteri berkuasa,

Jika hari ini seorang Raja menaiki takhta,

Jika hari ini seorang Presiden sebuah negara,

Jika hari ini seorang ulama yang mulia,

Jika hari ini seorang peguam menang bicara,

Jika hari ini seorang penulis terkemuka,

Jika hari ini siapa sahaja menjadi dewasa;

Sejarahnya dimulakan oleh seorang guru biasa
Dengan lembut sabarnya mengajar menulis, dan membaca :)

tiada kata yang dapat menggambarkan betapa saya menghargai setiap titik peluh dan pengorbanan cikgu. semoga Dia jua lah yang membalasnya, insyaAllah aminnn :)

selamat hari guru, saya sayang cikgu :)

kak yasmeen, ssp sick x?

2010-05-15T07:29:00.003+08:00

*fb chat, 13.05.10

ain jasmani :
bila nk dtg ssp?

me :
ouhh nnt ble i have time k
hehe

ain jasmani :
can i take that as promise?

me :
hehe
but dun put high hopes kayy

ain jasmani :
haha ok
kak yasmeen, have you ever ssp-sick?

me :
hmmm.
honestly no
i mean not yet laa
i guess maybe because i went thru things the hard way
u noe how being kp i have to b teladan baik n all
it feels much nicer to be out from ssp
i mean i can b myself and do things i cant do b4

ain jasmani :
ouhh
i cant wait to get out of here
life inside and for me are just the same

me :
but but one thing la,
no doubt ssp gave the best basics of life

ain jasmani :
ouhh yeah

i just feel like sharing this out. but honestly true, ssp gave the best basics of life. haha :D

a grown up world

2010-05-13T19:15:00.002+08:00

yesterday i was about to update my post that sounded somehow like this;

this is the part where i hope i can have a neutral party to hear my sighs and laments.

since ive indulged in this new chapter of mine,
*ouh come on, u can guess
i noe such things like this will come.
definitely. absolutely will.
having a boyfie cn be one tough job to handle n_n"

now ive put my life into few chapters.
family. friends. lover. soon to be college.
and the list goes; social life, yada3.
one chapter will indirectly affect the other.
and there r times ill be stuck at the verge where i have to decide.
theres pretty much plenty of things i have to consider,
and not to forget to think of others feelings as well.
i dun wanna be tamak, or selfish, nor even lose any one of them.
because i love each and every single of them with all my heart :)

at some point i know i can handle it,
but who m i to deny i can be absolutely clueless,
and not knowing whats the right thing to do.
but what i m very much sure,

this is life baby.
nothing comes easy unless u make it to be one.
and i guess when hard times come,ill do whatever it takes to make the best out of it,
because i dun want it to stop me from enjoying the best parts in life :)
life is too short to fuss over small things, so happy2 sahaja lah :D

and today mama send this email :)

Mom liked to make breakfast food for dinner every now and then.
And I remember one night in particular when she had made breakfast after a long, hard day at work.
That evening, mom placed a plate of eggs, sausage and extremely burned biscuits in front of dad. I remember waiting to see if anyone noticed.
All dad did was reach for his biscuit,
smiled at mom and asked me how my day was at school.
I don't remember what I told him that night,
but I do remember watching him smear butter and jelly on that biscuit and ate every bite.
When I got up from the table, I remember hearing mom apologize to dad for burning the biscuits.

And I'll never forget what he said:
Honey, I love burned biscuits.

Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy good night and asked him if he really liked his biscuits burned.
He wrapped me in his arms and said,
"Your Momma put in a hard day at work today and she's real tired. And besides - a little burnt biscuit never hurt anyone!"

You know, life is full of imperfect things.....and imperfect people.
I'm not the best at hardly anything, and I forget birthdays and anniversaries just like everyone else.
What I've learned over the years is that learning to accept each others' faults - and choosing to celebrate each others differences - is one of the most important keys to creating a healthy, growing, and lasting relationship.
Because in the end, you are the master of your own life, to be happy or unhappy, to be positive or negative.
We could extend this to any relationship.
In fact, understanding is the base of any relationship,
be it a husband-wife or parent-child or friendship.
Don't put the key to your happiness in someone else's pocket - keep it in your own.
So please pass me a biscuit, and yes, the burnt one will do just fine :)

i just want to have the best things in life, despite all the hardships that r going to come thru, simply thats all, thats all :')

100510,

2010-05-11T20:43:00.002+08:00

happy one month :)

p/s : kudos naff for snapping the picca ^^

so its decided

2010-05-10T21:29:00.003+08:00

ive made up my mind,
and so here i would like to say;

Elinar Yasmeen binti Muhamad Azmi is an official UEM scholar *hehe:)
will be enrolling at KYUEM starting 20th July 2010
will be having three semesters of A-Levels
commencing 2012 will be off to UK or Australia, insyaAllah, aminn :)
field of study? accountancy baby :D

alhamdulillah :)

arent i supposed to b happy?

2010-05-10T06:47:00.003+08:00

again, it happened.
things didnt turned to b the way i expected it to be.
or im just practically being too emotional and expecting things too much.
*gile sensitif elin. chill sudeh -.-

its just a stupid, stupid thing to cry over.
but then again, somehow, deep down,
menitis jugak la dua tiga titik air mata.
apabila hati manusia perlu dijaga,
kadang2 kita terlupa hati kita.
im just letting go what i feel.
*so, sudah selesai, tutup cerita

happy one month dear.

for a person i call mama :)

2010-05-09T07:24:00.002+08:00

for every single thing that you did,
since i opened my eyes into this world,
no words can describe how much im thankful for all of it,
thank you so much mama,
may Allah bless you forever and always.
till death mama, i will always love you :)

happy mothers day :)

khabar khabar gembira, alhamdulillah :')

2010-05-07T22:16:00.004+08:00

Congratulations. We are very pleased to offer you with the UEM scholarship to read Accounting for an undergraduate degree at a university in Australia, United Kingdom, or any other institution deemed fit by UEM.

Reply before 14th May 2010

***

Sukacita dimaklumkan bahawa anda telah berjaya ditawarkan untuk Pinjaman Pendidikan PETRONAS. Maklumat tawaran adalah seperti berikut :-
Program : Pra Universiti (Dalam Negara)/Ijazah Pertama (Luar Negara)
Kursus : Perakaunan
Negara : New Zealand

Maklum balas sebelum 12 Mei 2010

hmm? hehe. istikarah2 :D

alhamdulillah, syukur tak terkata ya Allah :')

muhd danial ahmad :)

2010-05-01T18:17:00.004+08:00

happy 18th birthday :)

p/s : okayy, puas hati ? haha^^

thank you fr every single thing. hope u had fun. ilysm :)

thank you all

2010-04-28T08:30:00.003+08:00

following from my previous post regarding my dad,
again it made me see the love from the people i love,
thank you all,
no words can describe how much i appreciate it,
i love all of you :)

most people think its a okay, no problemo,
go on lah,
normal lah, ayah, kalau x concern x sayang la namanye.
and tharu gilaaa abang kerol called *awww :)
at first nk ckp psl the orphanage trip, but ade la selit topik lain,
thanksss abang :)
mama n bibik also agreed, ayah shudnt be reacting in such way.
yes, i admit, my fault,
making it fairly quite public in fb,
and also the fon calls and texts.
yes, i admit, i admit.

see? now my page is clean, my inbox is clean also,
*puassss?
hati tu nak marah jugak, tapi tahan je la.
its annoying really,
like yesterday i was updating my status,
die sudah bunyi "ha, x habis2 nak msg"
*ehhh helllooooo
see my inbox will u? CLEAN.
okay, b4 i go wayy further with my words,
ill put a dot here.
dah. ape ayah nak ckp ckp lah.
ive admitted my fault,
n ive accepted wht u r trying to point out.
but, but,

i myself also have my own rights,
and theres also a LIMIT for my privacy,
okay?
end of story.

ouh yea, kak ajla called!
final stage for uem, alhamdulillahh :)
i really want this,
aminn :)

ya Allah, bimbinglah hambaMu

for those single and looking around chicks ;)

2010-04-27T23:28:00.003+08:00

girls are like apples on trees. the best ones are at the top of the trees. the guys dont want to reach for the good one because they are afraid of falling and get hurt. instead, they just get the rotten apples from the ground that arent as good, but easy. so the apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they are just completely amazing. they just have to wait for the right one to come along, the ones who are brave enough to climb up all the way to the top of the tree. :)

take me away

2010-04-27T22:45:00.002+08:00

out from this madness,
and leave me alone.
i am tired and exhausted of everything
*sigh :/

kenapa x suka sangat?

2010-04-26T18:21:00.003+08:00

"ive got ur msg from kak min"

"so?"

"i noe u dun want me to get carried away n all,"

"listen elin, listen. perjalanan elin ni masih panjang lagi. ayah xnak if anything happens, u will be emotionally distracted. n then x boleh belajar. dah la masing2 xtau sambung mana lagi, jpa sume xtau jwpn lagi, nanti masing2 dah jauh, anything happens, dah x boleh nak focus studies. sekarang mmg la, boleh lagi, tapi nnt bile dah belajar nanti? kawan je la dulu, buat ape nak serius2 nie? n then nak publicize kat fb, sayang sana sayang sini, ape kata family and orang2 yg tgk? call n msg bagai, depan family sume, buat ape? belajar dulu, xpayah nie sume. u need to noe ur priorities, put ur priorities in front, bukan mende2 nie sume. kawan je, dah kawan je"

"okay, okay, elin cume harap ayah dun mind je, thats all. i noe my priorities, yes i am putting it in front, i have all my dreams to fullfil, i still want to go overseas, habiskan acca, yes everything is still in my mind! plus this danny, im not expecting for it to be long, atau short, me n him r really taking things with the flow, so that if anything happens, im ready for it. elin dah fikir sume tu, ive given thought of it already"

*silent

"elin cume nak mintak ayah jd flexible sket je, tu je"

"i am giving u the flexibility, cume ape yg ayah x suke, ayah akan point. n let it be friends, thats all"

"fine, fine elin admit the its my fault elin terlepas time kat bday kak lea, elin x patut had the fon conversation n bia org denga, FINE, its my fault !"

and a customer came to pay their food

"tu, ade orang nk bayar"

and i tried really hard to not let the tears rolled down.
n up till now the conversation was let hanging there.
dear readers, correct me if im wrong, all right?

before ive decided to give it a go with danny,
ive thought of the consequences already.
we havent started our uni life, n for me i am not exposed yet to the real world.
dannys the first in this lovey dovey chapter, things can change in the future.
we might b seeing other people in uni,
yes, ive digested that fact well enough.
thats why when ive made up my mind,
ive marked this relationship at a level where,
im not expecting it to be in the long run,
or might even short.
ill go with the flow,
and b cautious myself of anything that wud might happen.
if anything happens, im at the least bit prepared of it.

ayah insisted of being friends,
but honestly ayah, at the moment,
hes not a person that i wud call a friend anymore.
if u want us to break up this thing,
im really sorry, i cant do that.
when heart and feelings are involved,
im rational enough to know im in a relationship,
n how it is supposingly supposed to be.

altho with danny around,
ive never forget my real aim in life.
go overseas, get my acca, n perhaps replace zeti akhtar aziz.
hanya kerana danny xkan buat elin terus lupa yg lain ayah.
y must make it a big fuss?
elin sayang ayah, i really do yah,
n elin xnak jd anak yg xdengar kata.
elin cuma harap,
at least, at least,
u wud let me give it a try.

if anything happens,
and its a big slap on my face,
then let me learn from it.
let me noe how its going to be.
if i dun even get to taste it,
how shud i noe how to learn from it?
let me face the consequences, take the risk.

studying is still my priority.
i have my own big dreams to fullfil.
but by having something along the way,
and i may say im really well aware of it,
how wrong can it be?

i am still your daughter,
and i will never stop loving u and make you proud.
so please ayah?
i love you :')

another cute fella,

2010-04-25T19:23:00.001+08:00

emil rayyan :)

an unnamed blade.

2010-04-25T08:46:00.000+08:00

dude, this is killing me.
SERIOUSLY T.T

is she cute or what?

2010-04-22T18:50:00.004+08:00

baby qaseh :)

i want KYUEM sooo badly T.T

2010-04-21T19:09:00.002+08:00

so today i went for yayasan uem's interview,
i arrived super duperbly early,
my session starts at 2.00 pm,
but i was there 12.15 haha :)
then i was asked to write an essay within 30 mins,
n my topic was parents role in tackling moral issues.
so done, chit chat wif the other candys,
n then i was called in.

there were three interviewers,
guy, lady, lady.
n they were soooo friendly! better yet, always trap questions here and there.
so as usual, introduce yourself,
they said i can speak, wht if they offered law?
no, i have keen interest in accounts hehe :)
and when they asked my ultimate goal,
i told them about replacing zeti akhtar aziz and
seeing my signature on ringgit malaysia notes.
haha. then they wanted me to share my experiences in the leadership arena,
n, yeah, like that lah :)
cume im a bit upset with myself fr not asking when they offered answers,
hope that didnt shrink out my chances. phew.
so all in all i was a bit happy,
since this is better than petronas,
and could just pray and tawakal lah :)

next week is the interview with the directors,
so ill be waiting veryyy anxiously for their call.
ya Allah, tolonglah hambaMu ini, aminnnn :)
since i really, really, really want this.

then later met up with danny,
and and kacau ceejay and nafeesa haha.
thank youuuuu for the jaffa ceej! hehe.
and naf, sorry we left tadi since u seem sooo busy.
hehe :)

well, kinda tired,
but im satisfied and wont stop hoping.
i have my beloveds around me and theres nothing more i can ask.
ill just have to b positive and carry on with life,
whatever the result is.
go elin go :D

feeling contented :)

2010-04-20T17:03:00.005+08:00

and u wanna noe y?

im excited to start uni life.
altho i noe ppl said that later ill say i want my 3 months holiday back haha.
ill miss the cash register n the annoying customers.
surprised? haha :D

im blessed with a loving family.
these past three months i guess ive bonded really well with ayah.
in which i was never able to while he was in his busy days.
not a chance lah to get to noe him this well.
thats y, it made me realize,
that no matter how hard sumthin is,
theres always hikmah behind it :)
and also a superbly cool mum tht really understnds my social and personal life.
well, i cant deny i hate her temper when her high blood strikes,
but still, shes my mum :)
and and a great sister thats always supportive in everything that i do,
the one that i will turn to if things doesnt seem to b on my side,
and brother farysh that i cant call a boy anymore cuz ure turning to a DUDE, bro!
haha, grow up well yeah sayang? :)

im happy to have people that i call friends,
and as time goes by loads more of em to come,
but ill promise that ill never forget to miss the ones ive known :)
u guys r always there, and i couldnt thank you enuff fr all of it.
the good moments will always be remembered,
and lets put the bad ones awayyy okidokes? haha :D

nevertheless, the very very new chapter in my life,
the love life chapter :)
muhamad danial bin ahmad,
it might be a bit early for me to put this,
since were still in the process of knowing well of each other,
but wht i noe is that,
u have ended my waitings all this while :)
i wont expect for us to be in the long run, or might even short,
because im really going on with the flow,
and let time tell what it wud be for the both of us.
honestly and genuinely my dear, im happy u came into my life :)
one thing for sure, ill cherish every single moment that i have with you,
and i hope u do as well.
i love you danny, i really do :)

hard times come and go,
and i hope when it peeps in i wont forget these wonderful people.

thank u God:)
at least, if anything happens,
im happy ive put everything that i feel in here :)
thank you all, i love u very very much :)

:')

soalan semakin rancak,

2010-04-18T22:29:00.002+08:00

dan semuanya berkisar ke arah ITU, haha ^^

i miss you tooooooooo!

2010-04-15T12:40:00.004+08:00

nafeesa ahmad ruslan si comel! *hugssss :DD

eduquest camp :D

2010-04-15T03:41:00.004+08:00

its 3.40 am in the morn,
and few hours ago ive just reached home from kl central.
*dear you, thank you very much :)
basically im exhausted, but got some sleep in the train, ok la hee :D

in a whole, the educamp was ok la,
but the fact that i got fussy interviewers really did put my spirits down,
they TEMBAK big time haiyo -.-"
till the point i dunno wht i was talking about, wht the hell of english im using,
cuz i noe ppl keep telling to keep on talking, dun let them put your confidence down.
i tried really, really hard on that part, *sigh
and it continued during group discussion,
so all i can do is pray and tawakal.

cuz the thing is,
the long journey from kl to tronoh with ayah ,
not to mention the level of exhaustion,
i really dun want to put it on waste.
i really want to make mama n ayah proud,
thats y i was sooo down when the session ended.

when i went back to the hostel,
my menstrual pain was like shit,
and i was in a really emo-ish state.
i almost bang the phone to the wall when danny didnt picked up.
i was sooo furious with everything.
then i yelled and screamed while telling the story to ainil my roomie,
wohoo, felt much better haha :D
continued with the iq test in the afternoon,
quite similar to pnb's.
and then it all ended,
and i was somehow relieveeeeed :)

but the best part,
went back by train to kl with mun heee :D
gossiped and talked and gossiped,
ntah bile fell asleep,
arrived at kl central, and back to home sweet home :)

i noe, i wont put high hopes, cuz ill be ready for any result thats coming,
so keep on praying and tawakal lah :)
and alhamdulillah, yayasan uem called when i was in utp :)
syukur x terkata :D

so whats next?
uem baby! :DD

i love you, ok dear? :)

yes, ^^

2010-04-10T20:09:00.002+08:00

100410,
and its official.
thank you for everything dear,
ily:)

danny:)

JPA interview, my version :D

2010-04-09T21:19:00.003+08:00

woke up, sent mama n farysh n kak su at the gate to selasih.
hehe. no need to work today,
got interview meh :D
so prepared the baju, the docs, did research a bit.

my definition of research is,

number one : read up on your course. mine accountancy, so a brief description of acc lah. no need bukak basics of accounting pun, sum rough ideas of ur course shud b fine :)

number two : google 'JPA INTERVIEW', n click on webbies giving out the spot topics. read a bit here n there, again get rough ideas, no need to emphasize on each too much, because theres soo many other things u can read about.

number three : read peoples comments and articles, rather than definitions all the way, cuz u can widen up ur persepectives n opinions, so that u can tackle back if the interviewer is trying to argue with what u r trying to say.

i arrived at picc. signed the attendance, went upstairs, n waited. chit chat a bit wif other candidates. i mean u dun really have to like practically find one, just say hi to the person beside you, make yourself comfortable with the surrounding:)

i met faizah rosli, yawww i missed you lah dear! :))
so we were called inside, im in panel 10, initially to be in the first group, but then the missing candy finally came, so im in group two.
each group got 6 ppl, mine were kavita, sze, zameel, izzat and syafiq :)
ye lah, dunie memanggg kecik hehe :D

sze is lala's friend, which i met during pktr huhu ^^
while zameels father is my dads senior back in maktab sultan ismail.
told ya, the world is small hehe :)

we waited.
and waited.
and waited,
and waited.
kavita n syafiq asked me a few times already wht the time was haha.

our session was supposed to be at 3.45, but were in only at 4.50,
but noe what? patience is virtue :)

my assumption and own ideology was, *cehh
it was raining like hell, n its already 5pm++,
must b the interviewers need to cut short kan?
officers yg kat luar x yah habaq mai la, haha :)
keresahan nak balik hoho^^

one was a prof, a guy la,
n the other one was an indian lady,
they were very very nice:)
so they asked us to introduce ourselves,
so ok lah, im honestly satisfied with mine.
others were also great :)
then she opened her kitab topics, *haha
and gave us the ques,

who is the person that inspires and aspires you?

she repeated twice, and gave us two minutes.
one person came in my mind, ayah :)
then i thought of zeti akhtar aziz,
but i have not much of info about her as in specifically in the banking world of hers,
so i picked ayah.
i told them how he bounced back after being retrenched,
how he started back from zero, to support the family,
and now i knew where i got my leadership skills from haha.
ive been working fr 3 months with him,
and that is where when,
ive known him frm such a different perspective.
and and, this is my fav,

and during tht period is when ive known him the way ive never known him before, :)

awwwww ^^
that was truly frm the heart.
the prof loved it! :)
u see, when u r relaxed, not thinking too much of impressing the interviewers with superb facts, and just by simply being yourself,
the ideas will come on their own.
my definition of being confident is,
by being yourself and comfortable in your own skin :)

so when the interviewers looked at the clock and told us to summarize the interview,
i was surprised hehe:)
*alhamdulillah, if thats all*
despite sume yg dh dresearch, MEB n all,
haha :DD xpe lah.
so i concluded y i wanted the scho and to pay bck wht my loved ones hv done fr me.
n after a few last words frm them, off we go :)

basically i was satisfied,
only i did hoped to experience the discussion part.
xpela, positive positive :)
so to me fellow buddies going fr mara, or khazanah, etc,
do your best, ok?
just relax and enjoy the interview, SERIOUSLY, no joke :)

ouh ouh,
ive got a phone call from petronas while i was putting on my baju kurung, *HAHA
and alhamdulillah, syukur x terkata :)
double joy in a day, thank you Allah :)
so whats next?
tronohhh baby! :)

beringatlah elin, kite tidak sntiasa di atas :)

awhhh ^^

2010-04-05T18:57:00.004+08:00

everyones in love,
and i couldnt be any happier!
especially u kak min :)
altho, well, i can never lie im still grieving over him.
i kinda missed him,
and surprisingly he admitted the same as well.
but learning from the past i noe i shouldnt fall for it so fast.
doing other stuffs did distracted me off him sometimes,
but come on la, hearts n feelings are involved here.

you can tell everyone that ure getting better, yada3,
but can u tell yourself the same thing?
sometimes yes, just for the sake to heal the wound,
but then again, it keeps haunting you over n over.
if i say i want you back, then im jeopardizing my own principles.
if i say i dont want you back, well, by the end of the day, its u that i wud think about,
again and again.

i guess it REALLY does takes time.
and the ending, you will never know how.
be strong elin be strong :)

oopsie doodie

2010-04-04T10:05:00.002+08:00

sorry to spoil the surprise. im just too excited :D *untung sape rajin bukak blog elin haha xD
to my board members, thank you very very much n sorry fr all my wrongdoings. honestly frm the heart, im really glad. alhamdulillah :)
i love all of you. muah2 :)

xoxo,
chief editor :D

second chance?

2010-04-04T07:32:00.000+08:00

if it ever happens,
do you deserve it?
hmm -.-

tertekan -.-

2010-04-02T20:26:00.004+08:00

sheeeessshhhh.
tension la ni kan.
elin diet mcm nk mati last 3 months,
beza pun ciput je.
but KAK MIN,
i guess dlm 3-4 weeks la die diet,
i mean npk kut beza!
damn! jap jap, CONGRATS SIS :DD
i envy u lahh.
its like a drastic change kut from my ssp eating routine.
kat ssp, nasi 3 pinggan sehari,
CUTI TAK PAYAH CAKAP LA :P
now i barely even remembered when was the last time i had a plate of nasi, ever. EVER.
ouhhh im depressed,
i noe my tulang besa n berat n all,
but to see a living example beside u,
despite the fact its ALREADY 3 months for u but ONLY 3 weeks for her.
aiyoooooooo.
yes yes, we are all beautiful in our own way, yada3,
but elin pun nak kurus lahhh! *LOL xD
*sighhh -.-
i guess patience IS virtue,
marilah kita berdoa :D
hahaha elin elin n_n"

PNB

2010-03-31T19:07:00.003+08:00

went to PNB's iq test.
completely emotionless, i have noo idea why haha LOL
while i was lining up to sign the attendance,
sum1 came running running,
AYZIEEE!
awwww hugs :D

the test was hard, frankly,
got 3 parts, the verbal, maths n iq,
VERBAL was basically for english, the passage was soo complicated, have to read it like multiple times and the duration was short!
maths pun, bole tahan susah, but the iq was fun :)
banyak soalan, masa sekejap.
not really much of diff from khazanah la,
but but khazanah nye ade 5 papers,
so VARIASI, haha LOL.
*elin merepek elin merepek
maybe due to the pening2 lalat afta the test HAHA xD